Another iPhone Post

Comparing the speed between the iPhone 4 and the iPhone 5.  A quick test to show how much faster the iPhone 5 loads up CSR Racing, my addiction for the past few months (oh my gosh I've been playing it for months).  I'm ranked 416 out of 11,716,974 players.  Although, most of those players didn't fully play the game (you have to get through most of the game to get a good ranking).  This means I'm in the 99.9964 percentile.  Now that's gangsta.  I'm too cheap to buy anything in the game, so I ended up racing 4,000 times to get my cash and my gold.  It's like real life for me, all about the cash and gold.  Back to the comparison, you can see the iPhone 5 smokes the iPhone 4 in the load time of the game. 17 seconds for iPhone 5, 36 for iPhone 4.  I said in an earlier post that it was like 4 or 5 times faster.  So I exaggerate, big deal, you do too.  Koreanvent your smartphone game. Word to your mother.

This Guy Loves Pizza More Than Me

And I LOVE pizza.  If I get enough blog readers, I may just make one of these myself.

In Yo Face

Did my morning Yahoo! article reading this morning. As usual, a lot of pointless and/or interesting articles.  Caught someone slippin, and had to put them in their place.  When you're going up against someone who has been koreanvented, you'd better bring your A game.

So it was an article about the top 10 gadgets in 2012.  First off, yeah right you read 15 novels and taken "some pretty fun roadtrips."  I think when they say novel, they are talking about RL Stein's Goosebumps series.  Guess what, you can read novels on a tablet.  He texts you on your Nextel? I didn't even know they still made Nextels.  Finally, 150 friends this year? That's friggin weak sauce (sorry to my blog readers if you have less than that).  I'm a huge loser and I had like 400 before I quit Facebook a few years back. Yeah most of them weren't my friends, but whatever.  That's not the point, so get off my back. Phones have nice cameras on them these days, yet a camera is not a waste of time but a cell phone is.  Side note: people, stop taking photos with your tablets at public events.  It's weird to see someone holding a giant screen to take a grainy photo from 300 feet away.  

Hackintosh Bootup Time

Ok, first, sorry for all these posts about computer building.  Geeksquad to the TJ Maxx, but that's all that's going on these days.  Here is a video of my bootup time, I have it at around 17 seconds. I was a half-second late pushing the record button.  So take that into consideration too. Next time, I'll add music to make it sound cooler. I shot the video upside down, but apparently Youtube has a mind of it's own and flipped it for me. So big ups to Youtube.

PS - I got an e-mail half-way through this, but I'm guessing you thought it was you and checked your phone.  You're not THAT popular.  Get over yourself.  Geez.

The Need For Speed

Several topics to cover today. Let's start off with the iPhone 5....

iPhone 5 - Initial Impressions
Well, I FINALLY got my iPhone 5 this past Saturday.  Took about a month and a half through Best Buy's pre-order.  Most that ordered via Apple or AT&T got theirs a lot sooner. However, I get extra Reward Zone points from Best Buy (Premier Silver) as well as 5% back via my Chase Freedom card this quarter.  So to save extra money, it was worth the wait.  Well, buying it that way was worth it, was the actual phone?

If you are already an iPhone 4 or 4S owner, it didn't seem like that big of a change...at first.  Everything looks the same, but a longer screen and lighter weight.  But after spending some time with it, I started noticing the big differences.  First, the picture quality of photos taken with the camera are much better compared to my iPhone 4.  They have the panorama mode which is pretty cool (usually have to pay for an app to do the same thing).

Another big difference I noticed was overall speed.  The A6 dual-core processor has a lot of power, and I notice apps opening and operating significantly faster compared to my iPhone 4.  Part of it is probably because I had a lot of junk on my old phone, but it's nice to cut down on lag.  For instance, my CSR Car Racing game loads up in about 1/4 of the time.  Once I'm in the game, there is no lag when I push buttons, compared to a lot of lag on my old phone. Yes, they probably made improvements for the iPhone 5, and I have less loaded on the new phone, but I can say it loads and plays about 5 times faster than before.  That's a big jump.

Ok, enough boring details on stuff that might not matter to you.  Here's one you might be interested in: 4G LTE.  My iPhone 4 didn't have 4G, so it was limited to 3G.  I've run tons of tests over the past two days to see how fast the LTE really is.

As a reference point, here are some numbers from other networks.  Note that this is Chicago only, and just general averages.
3G:
Ping 100, Download 4MB/sec, Upload 1MB/sec

Wireless @ Home (Comcast Cable, 20MB/sec package with Speedboost):
Ping 30, Download 14MB/sec, Upload 4MB/sec

Wired @ Home (Comcast Cable, 20MB/sec package with Speedboost):
Ping 10, Download 23MB/sec, Upload 4.5MB/sec

Now we get to 4G LTE for AT&T.  The amount of range was very unusual.  I first tested it at my apartment, standing near the window:
Ping 100, Download 6MB/sec, Upload 1MB/sec

Pretty slow. Yes, faster than average 3G speeds, but no where near my wireless network at home.  Then, I was in my car, driving to Microcenter to buy a heatsink for my Hackintosh (more later):
Ping 72, Download 24.96MB/sec, Upload 3.92MB/sec

Kept doing this all weekend, getting varied scores (as low as 3MB/sec download, and up to like 10MB/sec).  Then finally, driving on the highway from the suburbs (don't worry, I was stuck in traffic and not moving), and I got this:

Wow, that is BLAZING.  Beats my wired connection at home using a CAT6 cable.  Now granted, you can buy more expensive cable internet packages and beat this number, and if you work in an office, they probably have faster lines, but this is really fast.  So the conclusion is, yes the LTE in Chicago for AT&T can be unbelievable speed; however, this is more of the exception rather than the norm.  Either way, the normal speeds I was getting was still good compared to my 3G, but probably on par with the 4G speeds of an iPhone 4S.  in certain spots though, you can get almost 10 times the speed. I'm assuming as these cell service providers continue to build out their LTE networks, we'll see more stable high speeds, but until then, be ready for hit-or-miss speeds.  Oh yeah, and all my old iPhone accessories are worthless now. I had a clock-radio and an iPod connector in my car.  Funny thing about the one in my car was that I had already bought one adapter to get it to work with the iPhone 4 (worked with previous iPhones and iPods).  This is what it looks like:

Yes those are a crapload of McDonald's napkins in my glovebox.  Quit judging.  So if I decide to buy the next adapter, then I will have a monstrous attachment to stick my iPhone on.  Probably gonna pass on that and just use the SD memory slot for music, but still sucks for those who invested a lot into the cable.  Although, a lot of people complain about it, but it was bound to happen at some point.  I mean even Blackberry switched up their plugs a few times when they were real popular in like 2007 (i.e., micro-USB, mini-USB).  I was at Microcenter the other day, and saw a ridiculous amount of chargers, speakers, and other accessories with the old pin connector.  Assuming all that stuff will be discounted soon.  Speaking of older iPhones, I took some photos of my Apple device collection.  I'm super weird (and probably dumb) and never sold off any of my old devices.  Don't really use them much, but still has some sentimental value to me (iPod was a graduation gift, iPhone 1 cost me $600, and iPhone 4, well that's just a backup if I break my new one). 

                                      

                                      

Hackintosh - Overclockin Like a Mofo

That's right folks, I got everything with the Hackintosh up and running perfectly. And of course, that wasn't enough for me.  While you were out hanging with friends, partying, interacting with other humans, I spent my Saturday learning how to overclock my processor on my new computer.  Just like my wealth, this computer was self-made.  Kidding, I'm broke (especially after buying all this stuff).  

Anyway, I tried explaining overclocking to people, as well as the steps to do so, and I think it's a bit difficult to understand.  So this is in no way a step-by-step instructional guide, just telling you what I did (and when I say you, I mean people who don't know ish about making computers).  I was a lot like you a few weeks ago, now I consider myself an amateur computer builder.  Add that to the resume sucka.  

So here we go.  When you buy a processor/CPU, the "brain" of the computer, it comes with a little fan that you stick onto the processor.  Because the more thinking that brain does, the hotter it gets (unlike super models, the more they think, the less hot they get). Har har har.  Shut up.  

Step one is to remove the old one.  There is this stuff called thermal paste (also called thermal grease) that comes on the fan when you buy the processor. it's like this silver gunk that helps the heat move between the processor and the fan unit.  You have to remove it from the processor (and the fan if you want to use it again).  So I watched Youtube videos, and found out you need isopropyl alcohol to remove it.  They recommend using a coffee filter to do so, because it doesn't have lint on it (and you want the thing as clean as possible).  

Old heatsink fan with the thermal paste gunk on it:

Processor with the thermal paste on it:

What I used to take it off:

Then, I bought this bad boy.  It was on sale at Microcenter. It's one of the cheaper, but well-rated ones (they have all sorts of crazy ones, some are huge with multiple fans, they have liquid cooling systems, but I'm not that big of a nerd so I got a cheap one):

Everyone online who reviewed this thing said the instructions that came with it were garbage.  I agree.  I watched a Youtube video posted by the manufacturer.  Much easier.  So to install this thing, you have to have a backplate on it.  Meaning, this thing is going on your motherboard (the "body" of the computer that the brain sits on, and has a bunch of arms and legs to connect all your other stuff).  Luckily, the computer case I bought has this handy cutout on it, so I didn't have to completely remove everything I had built the other day, I just popped off the side panel, and screwed in the backplate. So far, so good.

 Next was applying a new layer of thermal paste.  There are like 5 ways to do this, everyone swears their method is the only way to do it.  Do you drop some on it and that's it? Do you drop some on and spread it around? Do you put it on the processor or the heatsink fan? I decided to do the spread method. Sounded more fun.  The easiest way to describe this process is painting your nails. Now I've never painted my nails, so maybe that's why I sucked at this, but you want a thin layer across the whole processor. It should be even and smooth.  Too much, and when you stick the fan on it, it will smush and go all over the place (and break your ish).  Too little, and the heat won't transfer well enough.  Basically what this thing is, is a metal box that sucks the heat out of the processor, then there is a fan on it to blow that heat out of your computer.  Kinda like when you got in trouble as a kid, you took the blame then your parents would tell you to leave.  Well, maybe that was just me.

Ok, so I have something to admit.  I wasn't going to post this (and I DEFINITELY didn't take pictures), but after I got this thing installed, I looked at the photo on the box, and realized I installed this the wrong way.  It should have been vertical, but I installed it horizontal.  I almost cried (I got teary eyed, but I swear it was the isopropyl alcohol or the thermal paste or something).  I went online and looked, and everyone has it set up so the fan blows the heat out the back of the computer, while mine was set up to go out to the top.   Son of a.

So I took it off, reapplied the thermal paste (which is such a pain), cleaned the heatsink, then put it back on the right way.  As seen below.

And I'm done!  Why would I go through all this to put a different heatsink/fan on my processor? Because I want to overclock it.  Think about your favorite baseball player, then think of him taking steroids.  Overclocking is injecting steroids into your computer, except it's legal, and you don't need a needle.  Ok that was mean, but I don't watch baseball.  You should already assume that after I just told you I spent my weekend working on my computer.  

When you overclock, you are telling the computer to perform faster than the default settings.  When you do this, you likely need to increase the voltage going into the processor (called VCore).  If you want to do this, get a motherboard that can do this, some can't.  So I went through the BIOS (the motherboard setup program when you first turn on your computer), and changed my settings so I can overclock.  My processor is a 3.4GHz processor, that can go into "turbo" mode and get up to like 3.8GHz or something like that. Yo that ish is weak.  So I bumped mine up to 4.1GHz.  Then I ran some tests.  You have to make sure it doesn't start getting really hot, or else you will either burn out the processor, or decrease the life of the processor.  After installing my heatsink fan and overclocking, my temperatures stay under 55 degrees celsius, which is pretty good. If you start getting to high, then you can mess up your system. For some reason, all the internet nerds who do this, say that hitting like 80 degrees celsius is "going TJ Maxx."  Not sure who thought of that one, maybe someone named TJ.  Or maybe someone who loves shopping at TJ Maxx.  Either way, I would have just said "max," but if you are the one who figures something out like that, then I guess you can call it whatever you want.  So, nice one TJ.  

What did all of this actually do, you might be asking.  Well there is a program called Geekbench.  It basically runs tests on your computer and spits out an overall score.  My iMac I bought just under 2 years ago has a score of 5800.  When I first built my computer, mine was like 9700.  Then I overclocked my RAM memory, and it jumped to 10400.  After overclocking? See for yourself:

Note that I ran this using the 32-bit version of Geekbench, my 64-bit score would be higher (but that version costs money).  And, since this screen shot, I actually jumped another 200 points by increasing my overclock. How does that stack up against the Mac's that are currently on the market?

Mac Geekbench Scores

What this means, is that I just built a computer for $545 that scores higher than a MacBookPro Retina display laptop (the 2.6GHz i7 with Turbo Boost to 3.6GHz).  How much does that laptop cost? Oh, just $2,799.  Now the difference in price isn't just markup, it's an amazing resolution screen, solid hardware (and it has better video graphics than what I just built), so it's not a direct comparison by just looking at that score.  I just wanted to show you the potential of building your own computer.  That being said, I'm selling Jerome for the low low price of $2,799.  Think about it. Jerome, iPhone, they've both been koreanvented.  Isn't it time you do the same?

Well That Was Easy

Yesterday, I posted about building a computer.  When I got home from work, I went HAM on the project and guess what? I'm done!  Spent a few hours building the rig (which is funny, because I just saw a 12 year old kid on Youtube assemble a computer in like 9 minutes or something like that).  Well, being a first timer, it took me a while. 

Step One - Put the processor and RAM on the motherboard, then install the little heatsink fan that comes with the processor, thanks Intel.  Well, not too much thanks, I bought your stock in high school, it shot up, then fell like crazy and never really came back. 

Step Two - Put the power supply into the case

Step Three - Install SSD hard drive into the case

Step Four - Mount the motherboard

Step Five - Connect all the thingamajiggies.  This took a while because the instruction's are a bit vague, but I figured it out.

Then I'm pretty much done with the assembly.  Next step was to install Mac OS X onto the computer, starts getting trickier here and I won't get into all the details (unless you want me to). I was actually shooting a video the whole time with my camera.  Being the first time doing that, I had a lot of mistakes.  I said the word "basically" a LOT, didn't zoom in and out enough (so at times, my beautiful face is cut-off in the video), I don't know.  I think I was a little nervous.  I'll work on the video and potentially post it if it's good.  If not, I'll just send you links to that 12 year old doing it.  Last thing - I can't use a wireless mouse when I'm setting up the operating system, as it's not recognizable yet.  So I needed a wired keyboard.  Don't have one of those, but I was too eager to finish.  I considered trying to steal one from the business center in my building, but thought that would be weird. 

So I drove to my office (5 minutes away), went upstairs, and the cleaning lady was vacuuming. Keep in mind this it is midnight.  I walk closer (trying to move a lot so she sees me), then I'm a few feet from her, and she sees me, and screams and jumps in the air.  I felt so bad, she was freaking out!  These schnozberries taste like schnozberries.  I apologized about 10 times, then we both laughed (my laugh was more of an awkward laugh at first, I thought she might shank me, but then it was cool), then I grabbed my keyboard and got the fuzz out of there.  Of course I stopped at McDonald's for a strawberry milkshake, why wouldn't I?  They are open 24 hours a day for a reason.  Anyway, so after many hours, I'm happy to say I've koreanvented my computer skills.  Here are some pictures. All the people on the Tony Mac website have cool names for their computers once they are done.  I have come up with: Laser, The Harlem Time Machine, KillaCam's Krazy Komputer (but that could be abbreviated to KKK, which is NOT cool), DipsetDoohickey, HystEricalHack, or Koreanvention.  Leave a comment to add another suggestion, because for now, it's name is Jerome.

Coming Soon: The Hackintosh

You will probably be very surprised to hear this, considering how big of a geek I am, but I've never built my own computer.  I've always wanted to, but after switching from PC to Mac about 8 years ago, I didn't really think about it. Then I came across the tonymac and Hackintosh web sites.  These are sites to help you load Mac OS X onto a PC.  It's not super easy, but doesn't seem very difficult either.  So I decided to go for it.

Over the past month or so, I've been collecting various computer parts.  I told myself I wanted to do this for as cheap as possible, considering I have a fairly new iMac and a work laptop, so throwing a third computer in the mix is a bit overkill.

I used different deal websites and only purchased a part if there was a deal for it.  The result? I have everything I need (minus a Sony DVD writer, but it's being delivered tomorrow).  Here is a breakdown of my components and costs.  Note that I'm building a "budget build," so cutting costs was more important than buying the top of the line parts.

I will run some tests once I build this (and hopefully have some Youtube videos of the build with rap music in the background), and will keep you posted.  Here's a shot of my components, minus the disc drive.

Good Eats

I recently read two articles (from Yahoo of course) that talked about “The Best….” in the US.  One was for pizza, and the other was for seafood.  I figured I can comment on these a bit, but maybe not in the way you would expect. 

I am by no means a “foodie.” However, I am a big fan of eating “the best” of something.  My definition of “best” does not mean expensive, it could be super cheap and from a total dive of a place and just gets a lot of good feedback. Although, some of them are a little expensive (but obviously it’s not an everyday thing). I guess it’s more like the food you would see on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives with this guy:

Which kinda reminds me of this guy (without the flame shirts, chain necklaces, facial hair (jealous) and bleach blonde hair):

Man, who is that good lookin guy? Whoever he is, that must be the look that he gives the customer service people at Best Buy while saying something super tough like "don't test me" or "when I finish this transaction, I'm gonna finish YOU next" or "is that the direction of the Sandisk SDHC Extreme memory cards? Do you know if the UHS-1 feature is compatible with the Nikon D7000?  Thanks so much, you're great, and I love your face."

Ok, getting off track.  So I thought I’d list out a few of my favorite places, and give you an opportunity to comment on some of your own. Unfortunately, I’m not the most well-traveled person so my favorites are limited to  Chicago and New York (and Vernon Hills).

Best Pizza

Here’s the Yahoo! article – Pizza Pizza

From this list, I’ve eaten at several of these.  Obviously there are tons of pizza places across the US and the debate will be ongoing.  However, before I went out to New York a few years ago, I looked up some top pizza place lists on the internet (great invention by the way, the internet, Dave Internet or Billy Internet or whoever made it was an absolute genius).  At the top of several of them was a place called Di Fara.  There is a lot of info out there on this place, but the high level summary is that there is a guy named Dom who has been cooking pizzas in Brooklyn for years.  He’s in his 70’s now, and since he’s the only one who touches the pizzas, he takes a break for a few hours a day, then he’s back at it.  Honestly the best pizza I’ve ever eaten, and I’m pretty positive I will not have a pizza that good ever again.  It’s kind of off the map and a hassle to get to, there are long lines and you will wait forever, but it’s worth it (at least once).  The other favorite of mine in New York is Joe’s Pizza.  Similar to Di Fara, it’s a small, dive of a place. But the pizza, which is super cheap, is amazing.  You can buy by the slice here, and there are always people there (but no wait really the times I’ve gone).  There is a wall full of celebrities on the wall who have come in.  This is more of a cheap pizza compared to Di Fara, but it’s still amazing.  I’ve eaten there about 12 times, and I’ve only been to New York like 5.   You do the math. Then there is Chicago-style pizza.  I like it, but nowhere near as much as NY-style.  My favorites: Peaquods and Pizanos.  I’ve tried Great Lakes and Spacca Napoli or whatever in Chicago, but to me, meh.  It’s aight. 

Best Seafood

Here’s the Yahoo! article – Seafood

Now this article points out fancy seafood places, but my favorites start with Big and Littles (featured on DDD) and Bob Chin’s Crab House.  Big and Littles has great tacos, burgers (delicious), and I like the truffle fries a lot (although they are sometimes too salty).  Must haves: salmon poke, samurai white fish taco, and a plain ol’ cheeseburger.  Foie gras fries are good too, but expensive, and I haven’t figured out if I like foie gras that much yet.  Bob Chin’s – a friend said it best. “I love the food, but why hasn’t that place been updated since the 80’s? Wooden plates, old silverware, and paper towels for napkins.”  I completely agree.  The food is expensive (but good seafood always is), but everything they have there is soo good.  Their steak is surprisingly good as well, but the best is the free stuff: garlic rolls.  Don’t fill up too much on these, or else you’ll cry that you spent so much on dinner and didn’t eat half of your entrée.  And I have to agree with Yahoo!, GT Fish and Oyster is wonderful.  Oysters are around $2.50 to $3.50 each, but if you go after 10:00 P.M., half off since they have to sell off the fresh stuff.  The clam chowder soup is the best I’ve ever had, they top it off with a little hotsauce and these tiny crouton-esque cracker things that they make themselves.  It’s more of a place where you order multiple smaller dishes (because the entrees aren’t very big), but price is definitely high and you’ll find yourself with a big bill at the end, even without dranks.  Finally, the lobster roll at GT Fish and Oyster is great, but my favorite I’ve had is Luke’s Lobster in NYC.  A little shack where the owner gets fresh lobsters and seafood shipped each morning from his family’s seafood market/distributor in Maine.  Similar to the others, expensive, but they have a nice sampler for 2 people (each person gets a sampler size of the lobster roll, shrimp roll, and I think the third was a fish roll of some sort, chips and a soda).  Now I know some of my readers are from San Jose/San Fran area, and I’m sure they have dope seafood places, but I haven’t been to them. 

Best Italian Beef

Yelp - Al's Beef 

Portillo’s? No. Mr Beef? No.  Al’s Number 1 Italian Beef.  Untouchable.  Get it with hot peppers and dipped (soaked in the beef juice), cheese fries or bleu cheese fries (if you are into that sort of thing), and you will be one happy camper.  Not camper like when you’re playing Call of Duty and you just sit in a little corner hiding and smoke the fools who run by you, but camper like a person who goes camping.  Is that what that phrase means? Happy camper? Do that many people go camping that the phrase is so commonly used? I don’t know.  I’ve only been camping once, excluding any time of camping stuff as a Cub Scout.  Scout’s Honor.  I wonder when Girl Scouts will be selling cookies again…thin mints…mmmmmm.  They had some sort of showdown between Mr. Beef and Al’s, and they said Mr. Beef won.  Not sure what type of criznack the judge(s) was smoking, but Mr. Beef isn’t that good.  Sorry.  The guy was kind of a *ick to me because I walked in near the close time, the hot peppers tasted like small pieces of celery rolled around in clear Tabasco sauce.  Never going there again (or Best Buy North Ave or Target Elston).  I almost saw Kevin James at Al’s Beef once.  I came in, and the people were talking about how Kevin James was just there.  Darn it!  I love Hitch. Allegra Cole…NICE. 

Best Wingys

Yelp - Buffalo Joes 

Buffalo Joe’s (Howard street in Chicago or Northwestern campus in Evanston). Already talked about it before, they don’t let you go to the bathroom without a costume.  But their wings are friggin great and you should go there, like right now.  Hopefully your reading this on your smartphone and already there.  Hopefully not on an iPhone 5 though, because I’m still waiting for one and someone (cough Best Buy North Ave) is gonna get pizunched in the fiznace pretty soon.  Can’t name another place, because Buffalo Joes is that good.

Best Japanese Steakhouse
Yelp - Tsukasa of Tokyo
Not Benihana, not Ron of Japan, it's Tsukasa of Tokyo, located in Vernon Hills location. It's so good, all the Bears players (used to) go there after their games on Sundays.  Sat at a table by Devin Hester once. Regardless, the fried rice is awesome.  If you haven't been there, check it out.

Best Korean Food
Yelp - Cho Sun Ok
Cho Sun Ok, Lincoln Ave in Chicago.  I'm sure there are 50,000 Korean joints in California, but I like this the best in Chicago. Sometimes there is a wait, and as with typical Korean service, they probably will not be super friendly or ask you if you want anything to drink (they will hand you a menu then walk away without saying anything).  Especially if you're white. Just kidding. Or am I?

Best Chinese Food
Yelp - Lao Sze Chuan
Lao Sze Chuan, Chinatown, Chicago.  This place is awesome, Michelin Guide Recommended, not super expensive.  Warning, some of the food is extremely spicy.  Things to get: shrimp in mayonnaise sauce (sounds super gross, but it's seriously awesome), spicy cold noodles.   Even the little free appetizer that comes out, kind of a spicy cabbage, will set your ish on fire.  But it's good. And just like every chinese restaurant, they have like 600 items on the menu. This ain't no fancy schmancy restaurant with 2 tables and a menu with 4 items.  These guys roll deep.  

Worst Restaurant
Best Buy North Avenue, Target Elston / Logan.  Fine, they aren't restaurants.  But screw them. Potential add to the list: Best Buy Glenview on Willow Road (called Best Buy Glenview, but the address is Northbrook...what?).  Had awesome experiences here before, but I called to check on my iPhone 5 preorder status, and the guy said they called me and I never picked up, so they gave it to someone else.  You gots to be kidding me.  After a few angry e-mails and responses, apparently mine hasn't come in yet.  It's only been a month, right? Starting to get really annoyed.  This blog is turning into me *itching about consumer experiences.  But one big victory for hystErical? Klipsch S4i headphones.  Bought them 11 months ago, then one ear went out.  Kinda pissed because they cost $100 and I take pretty good care of them (as I do with all my gear, I still have my 3rd Generation iPod, the one with the wheel).  The victory? E-mailed them, got a response, sent over my receipt (I keep EVERYTHING - my closet is filled with boxes and receipts for stuff that I bought, I NEVER throw away the box), and boom, new pair on the way.  Wish all companies were like Klipsch.  Ok, that's my rant. Sorry for the delay in blog posts.  Eat good (and cheap), hate Best Buy, keep your original packaging and receipts, and koreanvent yourself.  You can do it.

Saveology - You're Out

Scam alert!  I saw a deal for a $15 ExxonMobil gift card for $7.50 from Saveology.com a few weeks back.  Went ahead and bought it.  Got the e-mail that it was ready to be redeemed.  Then I downloaded the voucher, and it is not really a voucher per se, it's a PDF file with a super long code that has to be activated by calling them and giving them the voucher number.  Thought that was a little weird, just send me the darn gift card. Why go through the extra step? I would soon find out....

Anyway, called, short wait time and the lady was friendly.  Gave her my info so she can send me my card.  At the end, she told me I'm getting e-mailed a $100 gift card for $4.95, for use at Wal-Mart, Best Buy, Red Lobster, etc.  Obviously sounds too good to be true, but who doesn't love Red Lobster? Seriously, where did they all go? I LOVE Red Lobster.  Went there a lot as a kid, and wish I still did.  Sorry getting off topic, so she offers me this thing, and it sounds a little odd, so I start asking all sorts of questions like I am super confused.  In actuality? I am confused, but I'm also stalling so I can research this so called "deal" on the internet.  Go to Yahoo!, search engine of choice (sorry Ne-l).  Finally find a "Ripoff Report" that describes exactly what I'm being offered.

Basically, they aren't giving you a $100 gift card, they are giving you a bunch of random coupons.  But the way she was wording it, made it totally sound like a gift card.  Saying they want me to say good things about Saveology to my friends, so they are offering me this sweet deal.  First off, I have no friends.  So this whole "two-way street" thing won't work.  Secondly, even if this was a real deal and I told people about it on this blog, there would only be three people that knew about it, and 2 of them stopped reading when they got to the second paragraph because this sounds like a waste of time.  Okay back to topic:
So I start saying, "Can I bring this voucher into Best Buy, and use it like cash just like I would if I bought a gift card from them?" She was careful in how she answered: "yes, well, it's similar to that...but you would have vouchers with excellent benefits to save, for example, 40% on your purchase, etc etc." So after I asked the "right" questions, I realize the random post on the internet is right.  They are trying to sell you a bunch of useless coupons.  I passed on it, but was still friendly as I still want them to send me my ExxonMobil gift card.

So here are some rules in life, in case you didn't know better:
- "If it sounds too good to be true, then it is too good to be true" People who seem like they are trustworthy, aren't ALWAYS trustworthy. People who are in a position to take advantage of people, most like have done so at some point in their lives.  That's why I treat people as if they are spies.  Haven't you seen Salt before? With Angelina Jolie? Yeah, spies.  Everyone.  Right under your nose.  TRUST NO ONE.
- "Trust no one, even people you think you know" - Because if you haven't seen Mission Impossible, there are machines out there that can make masks of people's faces and you will think it is your friend, but really it's not, but if the people with the machines forgot to get the voice synthesizer machine too, then they won't say anything, they'll just nod their heads, and that should be a dead giveaway that the person who you are talking to, who you think you know, is not really that person, and that person you don't know forgot to buy or use the voice synthesizer.

Sounds kinda crazy to go through life like that, always worrying and not trusting people.  But if I wasn't like that, then I'd be the proud owner of $100 worth of garbage coupons, out $4.95, and this post would be twice as long.  I also would have made one man very happy, a man who stands by the gas station by my apartment and has told me on multiple occasions he's from the suburbs and needs bus money to get back there today, although I see him all the time.  Must be one expensive bus ticket.

- "Give a man a good job, he'll stay on that ish, but when the job get hard, the coward gon quit.  Everybody show you love when they thinkin you rich, but you can see they true colors when the smoke get thick..." - Papoose, Rapper / Philosopher
- There are so many people out there trying to take advantage of others.  That's why I always nod my head and show signs of agreement when people talk to me, but really in my head, I think "I don't believe you..in fact, this conversation might not even be real, I am probably in a dream, a dream about someone lying to my face, I might not even be typing this because it's a dream"
- "If a deal website tries to trick you (cough...Saveology..cough), then trick them back.  Buy one deal then never buy from them again. And then see who's laughing all the way to the gas station as they get their almost 2 free gallons of gas...suckaaaaaaas" - Real talk.

So what is the point of this post? The point is, you probably shouldn't listen to word I say, because you shouldn't trust anyone, including me.  I don't even exist.  If you fall too easily for people's deceptions, you need get your koreanvention on. Now I've been duped before, but lesson learned.  Somehow a company got my credit card info from Chase and was charging me $20 for coupons every month as a recurring charge, then I finally figured it out.  Add that to the list: look through your credit card statements.  I know that if it isn't Subway, discounted electronics, Subway, or some sort of media with the words "Harry" and "Potter" in the description, then I'm going to investigate like Lucy Liu in that new Sherlock Holmes TV show that looks like it will probably not be that good.

Another thing, remember to ask the right questions.  Going back to the guy at the gas station who says he needs money for a bus ticket to the suburbs. If that happens to you? Turn the tables.  Say, "which suburb? Oh, really? I don't have any cash on me, but guess what? I'm from that suburb and I'm headed there soon! I'm going to go pick up my grandmother, our pitbull named LiarBiter, and my DEA brother-in-law named Hank, and I'll be back to pick you up. We are running out of room in the back seat though, so do you mind riding in the trunk? Did someone say "ROADTRIP!" Yayyyy!"

Then see what he says.

Bridezilla!

Funny article on Yahoo! today about a bride's e-mails to her bridesmaids.  I scanned through it, pretty entertaining. But the best, as it usually is on internet articles, were the comments below.  Here's the article:

Bridezilla Emails to Bridesmaids

So scan through that, or don't.  It's basically a soon-to-be bride saying outrageously demanding and ridiculous things to her bridesmaids.  Then, then read this:

This VincentK is quite the character...must be koreanvented.  Shot out to Dr. Acula for being the top comment poster this past week. A pack of O-Negative will be shipped to your place prior to the release of the new Twilight movie.

Same Same Same Same, Arby's Is Different

First thing I usually do when I get to work is pop open Yahoo to see what the main news articles are. Today, there was Mitt Romney's garbage man, retiring at 50 (yeah right), and Arby's new logo.

I've always loved Arby's, there was one in Morton Grove that I went to often as a kid.  Anyway, apparently they have a new logo and are emphasizing their fresh cut meat.  I have been eating Subway almost everyday since I started this new job.  Checked my credit card statement online yesterday, I've eaten at Subway about 40 times in the past 2.5 months. And I get the same thing every time.  Kinda like when I ate Chipotle for dinner for two years.  Food is kind of like music for me, whereas I listen to the same song on repeat for days, then stop listening to it.

Anyway, yeah new logo.  It's kinda cool, I wouldn't have even noticed it unless I read that article.  No other updates today, life is boring, that's why I need to koreanvent myself.  

New Website Idea

I heard some yelling from outside my window tonight. Took a quick peek, it's two girls trying to parallel park their SUV.  They are trying to park into the LARGEST OPEN SPOT that you will ever see in Chicago. Like I could fit a limo in there.

Anyway, I see the girl give it a go, and I can tell immediately that she's gonna hit the curb with her back right tire.  Boom, yep, hit it.

Now this is where it got weird.  Rather than try to do it again, or even straighten out a little bit, she just gives up.  Seriously.  Just turns the car off, gets out with her friend, and they walk away.  Snapshot time.

I'm not about to say I'm good at parallel parking, it's tough.  But I guess I'm different where I'll keep trying until I get it.  If there are a lot of people watching (like outside of a restaurant with a patio), hell, I'll just drive away and find another spot if I don't get it in two tries.  Yeah, that's how I roll (or park I should say).  If you hear them laughing as you drive away, wait a minute, then drive by again with the windows down and just yell "I got sick eating at that restaurant last week, have fun throwing up." But no, this girl just parked, didn't even straighten out her wheels.

That's where the new website kicks in. It will be called "peopletryingtoparallelpark.com"  I'm saving money though, so I'll have to use a free website.  So scratch that last one, it's "peopletryingtoparallelpark.blogspot.com"  Catchy.  I love watching people do it.  I especially like the people who go forward/reverse only after hitting the car directly in front or behind them.

It will have videos of people failing on their parallel parking, photos of poorly parked cars, and maybe some Harry Potter sound clips.  Think about it.  We can create it together, we will be MILLIONAIRES.

Speaking of millionaires, I got a Fortune magazine in the mail with America's most powerful women yesterday, and they are all rich.  That could be me after this website takes off.  Just sayin.

I've been getting Fortune magazine for almost three years, but I've never paid for them.  The guy that used to live here must have bought a 5 year subscription or something because they keep coming and coming, and I just keep tossing them in the garbage and get back to reading my favorite book: no book.  I don't gots time to read.  I only have time to try and pimp out my electronics and write on this blog.  The last book I read was Harry Potter 6, and that's only because the movie hadn't come out yet and I wanted to know what happened next (and let me tell you, it was awesome). Sincerely, the Half-Blood Prince, the koreanvented version.

Go Tuck Yourself...and your wires

Seems like it's DIY week here at the hystERICal household.  Not sure why I use that anonymous pen name when my actual name is in the URL to this website, but let's just pretend you don't know who I am, and I don't know who my three blog readers are.

I've done this project before, but things started getting messy again so I did a re-do.  One thing I hate is having a bunch of wires causing clutter.  So I decided to do some work on hiding wires so they aren't as obtrusive.  When I did this the first time, I went to Home Depot to get some twist ties.  Guess what? Home Depot doesn't sell twist ties. How in the world does a store of that size, that will sell you everything from holiday decorations to 50 styles of toilets, not carry twist ties? Blows my mind.  I was about to go to the produce section of Dominicks and just steal a bunch of twist ties next to those thin plastic bags.  Then I found zip ties.

The great thing about zip ties is that they are really easy to tighten up wiring and are extremely secure. The downside is that once you zip it, you can't undo it.

This process was easier for me because my computer desks have some metal bars and glass that make it easy to attach the wires, so this won't work for everyone.  I start at the top, measuring the amount of cable/wire I need to plug them into the monitor, then tape them down.

From there, keep the wires as tight as possible and zip tie them to the metal bar. 

Then you follow the wire along the metal bars to the end of the table.  From here is where it gets a little harder.  For me, two of my power cords have those large black box thingies (very technical, but that's me, Mr. Technical).  So I ended up just shoving these into a tight space so you can't really see them unless you're under the desk.  Not very professional, but my end game was to not see wires, and this is the easiest way I could do it. 

Then, you measure out how long you need the other ends of the cords/cables to go, as seen below. 

Now, I had the wonderful opportunity of doing all of this, then realizing that my HDMI>Display Port cable to go from my monitor to my work computer was backwards.  Awesome.  This is where the zip tie thing really sucks.  I had to cut all of the zip ties I had just attached with scissors, then basically re-do the entire process.  Ughhhhhhhhh.  That was the reason I did this actually, my monitor can use HDMI, my work laptop has a Display Port input, so I got to replace that bulky VGA cable and get digital (I mean it's 2012, so why wouldn't I).  Ok, so now I've redone the zip ties again, cut the ends of them with scissors so they don't stick out, and voila, finished product:

So that concludes the play-by-play. I'm sure none of you are actually going to do this, but hey, it's one step closer to Koreanventing myself. Knowing how things have happened to me in the past, tomorrow they will invent wireless everything and all of this will have been for nothing.  But until tomorrow, in your face wires.  IN YOUR FACE!

Elevate Your Wireless Router Game, Son

So I saw a deal yesterday for a wireless router.  I already have one, but of course I read the comments about the deal.  Everyone was talking about DD-WRT and Tomato, and not knowing what it was definitely sparked my interest.

Ends up, DD-WRT and Tomato are types of firmware that you replace your factory firmware with for your wireless router.  Been around for years but I just didn't know. The firmware that comes with your router most likely sucks, so some tech wizards decided to create their own.  I was learning all of this after sitting down at Chick-fil-a, which was my dinner after going to a Photoshop workshop at the Lincoln Park Apple Store.  I was trying to score an iPhone 5 (didn't happen), and saw the different workshops they had, so I signed up.  The workshop was interesting, nothing too crazy that I didn't know before, but nice to get a chance to play around with CS6 and learn a few tricks here and there.  The bad: the workshop is done at a table in the main store, so it was super loud and hard to hear the girl talking.

Ok, back to the router thingy.  So I learn about flashing my router with this new firmware, and of course I'm going to waste 2 hours of my life to try it.  I get home, and get started.  I read all the information, and believe me, there are TONS.  The instructions tell you to read pages upon pages, check hardware compatibility, etc.  The reason is that if you screw this up, your router is rendered useless (bricked).  So that did scare me a bit.  Usually when I try stuff like this, I screw it up then spend hours trying to fix it. I proceeded with caution, and installed DD-WRT on my Cisco Linksys WRT310N v2.0.  It's an older router, poor reviews due to the overheating of the unit (although mine's never had an issue, probably because I have it mounted on the wall instead of laying flat on the ground).

End result? I got it installed, but can't really take advantage of the firmware.  Basically, what you're doing by installing this is adding the ability to customize your router settings more than you could with the plain ol' Cisco software.  I could increase the range of my router by increasing the power output.  The danger with that is you can easily overheat your router.  I can't really use this because my place isn't very big and I don't need range outside of my unit.  The other big advantage is overclocking your router, but apparently mine can't do that.  So if you need more range out of your router, then it might be worth trying.  If not, probably not worth the trouble.  I still want to try and tweak the settings to see if I can get some extra performance.

Then this got me thinking, do I need to upgrade my wireless router? The new ones all have simultaneous dual-band, which mine is 2.4Ghz only (and when I say new, I mean anything after like 2010, because my router is old, stop judging).  You would want to if you drop connections all the time (because if you live in an apartment complex, there are so many devices using that frequency that it gets congested).  Me personally, yes I live in a large apartment complex, but I rarely drop connections and my speeds are decent.  So for now, no upgrade.  Then I started thinking about gigabit ethernet ports.  My router has four.  But then I realized that this is only really for people who have a home network that has multiple devices plugged in (not WiFi) that want to transfer files between those devices.  Again, not needed. For now, I'll stick with my setup and keep on keepin on.  Although, I do want to check my network cables to see what Category type they are, I have an urge to rewire my room so I can have my work laptop and my home computer plugged in so I can have higher transfer between the two when moving files.  See photo of my current setup here:
My Home Setup
I spent about a day hiding wires, but I think I can do better.  That will be my next project, which I'll keep you updated on.  Koreanvent your router game.

Word of the Day: Excessive

People are often too excessive with the things that they do.  Spend too much time on the internet/ Facebook, drink too much, etc.  I don't drink much these days, but I waste a lot of time sitting behind a computer, especially considering I am on a computer all day at work then I come home and do it even more.  However, I've been spending a lot of time playing CSR Racing.  I FINALLY beat everything there is to beat in the game, and to be honest, it was a little disappointing. First off, the Achievements section didn't update after I beat everything, which makes me sad.  Plus, there are a bunch of gamer geeks who figured out how to get some ridiculous scores.  So my rankings are relatively poor.  Here, you can see I've wasted over one day of my life playing this game.  Crazy right?

To think that if I spent that time on something meaningful, I could know how to say 15 words in a new language, increased my muscle mass by 10% (I don't work out much, so 10% is probably achievable), cleaned my apartment 12 times, or wrote a few Haiku's (I would first need to learn what a Haiku is, which was already calculated into my 12 Haiku projection).  Regardless, I think I'm done with this game.  I'll let you know what my new obsession becomes. 

Another example of excessive? THIS:

Dude, just move your car.  And to the Parking Monitor person: ease up.  He's not coming back.  My dad gets mad at me when I have a late fine at Blockbuster, imagine what would happen if this was me. 

Finally, license plate mystery. 

Blabber? Blubber? No, then it would be BLBER.  Then I remembered there was a book when I was a kid about this elephant who dresses like a human.  Not sure if he is, but for some reason I remember him being British.  Then I realized that was Babar. Wikipedia check - he's French.  So this one might remain a mystery.   

Oh yeah, and I signed up for Google Adsense.  It puts advertisements on my blog, and the more people that click them, the more we gets paid son.  The examples I was seeing estimated that with 1,000 hits a day, and a small percentage of those visitors clicking on the ads, they would make $5 to $300 a month.  Now, I've had 350 hits in 2 years, so to my calculations, I could be making $0.00 to $0.02 a month.  As Jim Jones would say...BALLIN! I wonder if they send me a check for that $0.02? And if so, how embarrassed would I be to cash it at my bank?  Not at all. That would mean 3,750 months, or 312.5 years, until I have enough to buy my own vanity license plate.  You might say I'll be dead by then.  I'll say that I plan to freeze myself when I turn 75 until the technology is available to keep ourselves alive for hundreds of years.  Think about it. Hopefully someone invents a freezing machine to preserve humans before I reach 75, or else I'm screwed.  Or I can stop playing games on my phone and invent it myself.  What, are you judging me now? You don't think I'm smart enough to build a freezing machine that can preserve my body and mind for 267.5 years?  Yeah, I'm good at math.  That's 312.5 years, minus the 75 years at which time I would freeze myself, but add back the 30 years I've already lived.  I'm kinda pumped to see what kinds of ads Google will put on my blog, because I talk about a lot of random stuff.  Maybe it will be for the Harry Potter movies (which I already own, in Blu-Ray, sucka).  Excited to Koreanvent myself, invent freezing machines, and write some Haiku's. 

Looper, Monopoly, and Racial Judgments

An odd combination of topics for this post, but they all fit into my weekend.  Let's start off with movie reviews.

So, after a lot of hype (by me), I saw Looper this weekend.  Now before I say anything about the movie, you should probably know that I am a major movie fan.  Not in the typical sense though.  I can't tell you who produced or directed any movie.  I can't tell you if I think someone will be nominated for an Academy Award.  I don't know anything about independent films.  I'm a movie fan in the sense that I just watch a crapload of them.  Seriously, if Blockbuster was still around, and you walked around the store with me, I'd probably say I've seen 80% of the major movies that have been released.  Geeksquad. I can also tell you if I liked it, which most of the time, I do.  I just like to be entertained.  I'm not much of a critic.

So, Looper.  Yeah, I liked it.  I didn't think it was as great as I wanted it to be, though.  I watch too many trailers, and I think that gives me high expectations.  Overall, yes I'd say watch it, but don't expect to add it to the list of your all-time favorite movies.  That photo of the ticket stub above was the sign that I had to see it.  I had been talking about it all day on Friday, then on Saturday, I saw this movie stub on the ground and realized it was a sign that I needed to go see it.  Maybe I shoulda seen Pitch Perfect instead, because Fat Amy looks like she will make this movie hilarious (I'm not being a jerk, she calls herself Fat Amy):
Pitch Perfect Trailer
I think one of the reasons I wanted to see it is because I'm giving Joseph Gordon Levitt another chance.  I disliked him before, but not really sure why.  Maybe because he was such a whiny little *itch in 500 Days of Summer.  Or maybe because he's famous and probably rich, and I am neither.  Regardless, the movie was fun and I think you'll like it.

Prior Post Update - I finally got Avengers 3D Blu-Ray, Blu-Ray, DVD, Digital Copy, Digital Soundtrack, etc. from Amazon.  Watched it this weekend, just as good as it was when I saw it in the theater, plus I got to watch some of the bonus features.  Not sure why I buy movies though, I watch them once then kinda forget about them. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie on TV that I own and sit through the commercials.  Yeah I'm weird, but that's why I'm writing on this blog as if someone is reading it.  Because I often talk to myself.  Cah-razy.

Next, Monopoly is back at McDonald's.  I know some of you haven't eaten at McDonald's in years...not me.  I still eat there all the time, and I'm lovin' it.  Made sure to get a Big Mac and a large french fry to double up on my Monopoly game pieces.  Got an instant winner this weekend: Free Breakfast Sandwich.  The weird part is that it says "No McMuffins" on it.  What the heck? How random is that? I just checked their website, and the McMuffin doesn't seem that different from the other breakfast sandwiches, the contents of the sandwich look consistent with the others.  The only difference is the bread/bun/muffin.  I don't know, maybe they take longer to make, or maybe that muffin is in high demand right now.  Either way, seems real weird.  Makes me want a McMuffin that much more now.  McDonald's and their crazy psychological games....got me hooked. What ever happen to Ronald McDonald and all those characters, like that big purple guy Grimace.  What, kids don't like fictional characters anymore? Or maybe they only like Japanese ones like Pikachu.  My co-workers and I actually worked on a job with one of McDonald's suppliers a few years ago. We dressed like those old McDonald's characters for Halloween, and for lunch, we went to the nearest McDonald's.  I thought the employees would get a kick out of it.  No.  I don't think they even knew who we were trying to dress up as.  It was really uncomfortable with everyone staring.  Kids looked at me like I was a freak, maybe because I was wearing the Hamburgler mask (the black cloth on your eyes, kinda like R. Kelly in that one music video).  But the food? Delicious.

Ok, this post is dumb.  Maybe this last one will be interesting.  I was in Chinatown for dinner the other night.  And I saw a car with their hazards on in the middle of a small three-way intersection.  Now, yeah this might be racist, but I guess I wasn't that surprised to see someone park like that in Chinatown.  Before you call me an actual racist though, remember the name of this blog is Koreanvent Yourself.  Yeah, I understand it's not Chinasvent..Chinesevent...Chinvent...ok whatever you get what I mean, but I was just shocked someone would park like that. I saw cars having to drive awkwardly to get around it. Blew my mind.  BUT...that's when I realized I had to eat my words and that I was too quick to judge. When I drove by after taking this picture, I realized the car was in an accident and the front driver's side tire was collapsed.  My bad.  Sorry to the stranger in Chinatown for judging you.  I obviously need to Koreanvent myself after that one. So here's to the start of a new week.

Plates of the Day - Living the Glam Life

You may already know that one of my hobbies, outside of eating Subway for lunch 5 times a week and smiling and waving at people who flip me the middle finger on the road, includes taking pictures of vanity license plates.  I've accumulated hundreds of them over the past few years.  Here are a few good ones that I've seen lately.

GLAM LFE - We flyin first class up in the sky, poppin champagne, living the life, in the fast lane, I won't change...G..L..A..M..O..R..O..U..S...it's that Glamorous Glamorous. If you ain't got no money, then take your broke a-- home. Why is it that I love that song? Linky:
Glamorous
This girl/guy is obviously living the glam life.  I saw their car outside of Ed Debevicks.  I used to love that place as a kid, but went there a few years ago and realized their food was just ok. But it is entertaining there.  I guess living the glamorous life means you get to park your car outside of the lines, because this girl/guy is way over the yellow line.  Flossy Flossy!

TNS ANY 1 - Ok, these are my favorite. Trying to figure out what they are saying.
Tunes Anyone? Maybe a DJ?
Tans Anyone? Jersey Shore fanatic who loves to GTL?
Tones Anyone? A fitness instructor who helps you tone your body into elite condition, aka "The Eric"?

DA CAR 3
Nothing to figure out here.  It's just dis guy's car.  Da Bears. Da Bulls. Da Car....3.  Maybe this is his third car, or two lucky people in Illinois got Da Car and Da Car 2.

If you want to koreanvent yourself, you definitely have to have a dope vanity license plate.  I just wish I knew what mind would be.  Because right now it's like 461684651468784234 or something.